Oof, twenty-one, what a ride you've been - pandemic, breakup, internship, job, starting to see someone new, putting my job on hold for my bachelor's thesis - we've had everything, haven't we? I've fallen in love again, I am very close to losing a relative to illness, I'm waiting for my university to tell me whether or not I can start my Master's degree in October. One of my closest friends moved out of the flat we shared with another person last September, someone new moved in in October. Things have been shifting this past year, sometimes scraping walls and getting stuck, sand making the cog wheels slow down, but sometimes so smoothly and slowly I didn't even notice until I realised something had changed entirely.
Twenty-one also meant a shitton of growth, figuring out what I want and what I don't want, who I am amongst all of the things that go on around me, finding my place in the midst of the chaos. Stumbling on the way, a couple of times, falling hard and scraping my knees too, but whenever that happened, people were there to offer their hand, their advice, their ears to listen without judgement. I'm figuring out the person I'm supposed to be. I'm not entirely sure I completely know her yet, but I'm the closest to that I've ever been. The most important thing: thirteen year old me would be so proud if she saw who I have become and to be quite honest with you, that's all I'm asking for.
As for twenty-two - I refuse to expect great things. I know the good things I worked hard for are coming my way. I'll have another publication under my beld come October, I'll also have my Bachelor's degree by then. I'm risking my heart and I've never felt happier in a relationship - knowing all to well I cannot control what happens and I cannot know where we might be this time next year, but I also know I'm taking that risk willingly. I'm putting my heart on the line and whatever happens, I will learn from it. I will grow from it.
And with that, dear friends: I'll be blasting Taylor Swift's 22 as soon as the clock strikes midnight on the 18th, you can bet your asses on that.
