Sunday, 27 March 2016

about creating (and a small introduction)

My room smells of sea salt and lavender, Ed Sheeran is on repeat and my sister is sitting on her bed laughing about something I don't have the fainted knowledge of. The sunset's covered by clouds but it's still light enough to see every single tree outside my window. My brain is buzzing with thoughts and unfinished sentences and words that try to find each other, with feelings and tastes that want to be put into a story. My fingers ache while flying over the keyboard, begging me to write write write and finally get all these thoughts out. I can't. There's a wall between my thoughts and my hands, keeping me from spilling them all over a page or a screen and it's the worst feeling in the world; wanting to create, to build cathedrals out of words but not being able to. 

The hardest thing about writing is wanting to write, but not being able to. You sit in front of your computer, or notebook, or typewriter, or whatever you put your writing on, and the words in your head try to put themselves right in the middle of your mind, and there's so much you want to say, but you can't. The hardest thing about writing is not being able to write. I don't mean not being able to physically put words on a page; I mean not being able to find anything that sounds right. Not being able to find just a single thing you want to write about without having to stare at the screen or your notebook for hours trying to figure out what exactly it is you want to say, what words make you feel just the right way. I currently feel exactly like this. My head is spilling over with words I don't know where to place, there are so many things I want to say, but I don't know how. I've typed a few hundred words already and deleted them again, I've almost thrown my hands into the air and sighed “I give up!”, but I know I won't. If I stop now, I won't be able to pick up again soon. I'll just dig myself deeper and deeper into the pit of not-saying-what-I-want-to-say, so I write, even though the chance I'll delete this later is so big it almost is pointless putting the words out anyways.

Hello. My name is Liz. Pleasure to meet you.
I decided I needed a new creative outlet, so this is what this blog will be; a place to put snippets of thoughts that aren't quite big enoug for stories yet, pieces of writing I want to shout out into the world, photos of things I like and don't know where else to share them and probably mostly ramblings and gibberish. The main reason for this blog is that I seriously need to get creative again. I've spent the past few months complaining about how I don't find the time and energy to get all the ideas and words I have out of my head, so this is it: my chance to stop complaining and doing something again. I need to start making time for my art again, and I hope to share the process from here to productive-me with you on here.

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